Two months back when I was contemplating about resigning from the work, I tried to imagine my life two months from that time; Time when all my interviews would be over and the eternal wait for results would be my only companion. Brilliant - one word that will describe whatever I saw in those dreams. A life filled with rainbow colors and soothing sounds.
Today when I seat at that junction, I see the picture is not exactly what I saw. It's very different, in fact. I can always crib about things that happen around me, and attribute all the missing color to such events. But it is not going to serve any purpose. The fact will remain that I simply let it happen this way. I just got settled in the lazy life and let myself get drifted in whatever came my way. I did not chart my own paths. And that made all the difference.
When I look back to those days of office-home-classroom hustle and bustle, I feel so strange. I find it difficult to imagine myself in those situations. I feel proud of each one of those moments, coz I know I cannot have dreamed them for myself. They just came my way. And I went with the flow. Again, I did not chart my own paths. And that made all the difference.
Now, if I try to imagine my life 2 month hence, the picture is not so clear. There are too many ifs-and-buts before anything becomes certain. Somehow I have got used to this flowing with the wind lifestyle, and I know I am going to enjoy it for a long time to come. When they ask me what do you want to specialize in your MBA course, my answer is invariably "I don't know as of now, I would want to go there and have a feel of everything before deciding anything." Some of my well wishers have scolded my for this indecisiveness but I know I am just saying "I want to go with the flow" in a sophisticated way.
ps: I know today is Saturday, but then for a jobless person each day is sunday. :)
Reinventing myself, once again
3 years ago
2 comments:
hm...interesting..to be frank i had the same feeling after my CET results in 2004!!!:)
truly speaking .. ppl who say that they know it all about their future path .. according to me they .............. ! (someone censored my comment) .. now that may be a definitive statement .. but lets not get into what they think ..
the adorable thing about you .. that you know the deep rooted truth .. i.e. you are with the flow ..
i feel .. if you are simply aware of this truth while you are flowing .. it's sufficient becoz this is a begining to leave the flow, if not today, surely tomorrow ..
to make the best decision (best in your own eyes) .. you need to see things around u .. be it with the flow .. or without it ..
just keep visiting this blog of yours in the months to come .. it will never be too late to leave the flow .. and say bye to others who go forward! :)
with you on this blog! :)
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