Chapter One - OVER

So finally the time came.
Time for parting;
Time for seperating.
New avenues are waiting
And old pillars still standing
Calling you at every turn
Turn back, please don't go.
We are all yours, and you ours.
There'll be good times again,
Again will be those laughs
And worries - that we'll share.
Don't go please.
Please don't go.
You know it cant be undone.
The pain can not be escaped.
It is inevitable.
Bitter truth of life.
Change is the only constant thing.

- I finally quit from my first job. Above few words might make you feel thay I am senti right now. Yes, I am. But there are more to it than just emotions itself.
I am jobless now. Atleast for some days. :)

confidential

Again taking it from Ji Mantriji. [oh God!! this thing is not going out of my mind]

Episode: Gade Murde
[Mantri Suryaprakash's diary continues]
I had no free time to talk to Kaul on his own yesterday. But first thing this morning, while I was doing my letters, I had a serious discussion with him. I asked him how Mathur had found out yesterday that I was with Kumar.

'Bhagwan ki leela aparampaar,' he said earnestly. [God moves in his own mysterious ways - Ed.]

'Let me make one thing quite clear,' I said. 'Mathur is not God. Okay?'

Kaul nodded. 'Ji sir. Will you tell him, or shall I?'

Very funny. But again I asked him how Mathur knew where to find me.

I am fortunate that my dictaphone was running. I noticed it some minutes later. As a result I am able to record his reply for posterity in this diary.

'Confidentially, Mantriji, everything you tell me is in complete confidence. So, equally and I'm sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything that Mathursaheb tells me is in complete confidence. As indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence. And for that matter, everything I tell Mathursaheb is complete confidence.'

'So?' I said.

'So, in complete confidence, I am confident you will understand that for me to keep Mathursaheb's confidence and your confidence means that my conversations must be completely confidential. As confidential as conversations between you and me are confidential... and I'll just get Sudeep Sengupta as he's been waiting to see you Mantriji.'

There it is. Word for Word. What was I supposed to understand from that? Nothing, of course.
[diary continues... - PritS]

- Imagine watching this scene on TV, in super refined Hindi and with finest of acting. God level indeed!!!

Politics

This one is taken from Ji Mantriji. This serial is based on the original YES MINISTER by Jonathan Lynn & Antony Jay.

Episode: Janata Ki Maang
[Mantri Sri Suryaprakash's diary continues]
I must say I was really impressed [with Kaul]. I asked Kaul if he had ever thought of going into politics. He shook his head.
'Why now?'
'Well, Mantriji, I once looked up politics in the Thesaurus.'
'What does it say?'
'Manipulation, intrigue, wire-pulling, evasion, rabble-rousing, favours, licences... I don't think I have the necessary qualities.'

ps:
I just now finished reading one more book in the series Ji Mantriji. The serial with Farookh Sheikh as mantriji (minister), Jayant Kriplani as the department's secretary and Paritosh Sand as Kaul is unarguably one of the best comedy in the history on Indian TV.

graceful restart

I don't know what shoe size does Amitabh wears, but it will always be difficult for anyone to fit into his shoes. It takes guts to take up a challange of the amount of hosting India's most popular game show, especially after knowing that it was successfully hosted by BigB in last two seasons.
SRK always liked to do larger than life roles, and surely this new role as host of KBC3 is no different. He has to take a seat which was ruled by charisma of BigB and then try not to lose his identity.
KBC surely marked the return of Hindi Cinema's biggest superstar. And now SRK trying to fill the vacuum created by BigB's exit from the program. Not a simple job indeed. Expections are high, standerds are already set to sky high levels. And the comparisons are inevitable. ek katon bhari sej.

So how has King Khan fared in the debut inning? Here is my take after seeing a glimpse of first episode of KBC's latest season.

• He is charming and handsome. Thank God he did not try to look chocolate boy like many of his latest movies.
• His appearance carries all the grace required. Seriousness is apparent in his attempt.
• He is very jocky. Scripts are written very well and he carries the charater brilliantly. His jokes are not like those desperate attempts to make the crowd laugh.
• He lacks a powerful voice. May be that is what SRK is all about. When he tries to tell "so lets play the game of KBC" the force behind the voice is not present. BigB has his grandeur image behind him, and then a super-confident voice to add to it. SRK really misses that. He could have done without trying to mimc BigB here. But it's too early to say anything.

Overall one good restart for the show. A very well debut indeed for SRK. I hope he carries on well from here.

big boss/brother/game

Big Boss ho ya iska original version Big Brother emotions run everywhere. And they run a full marathon, just like any k series time-killer.

Reality Game show - it says all. They show reality, but in the end, it's just a game. You are there just to win. And when faced with such a situation, there is no distinction between means and ends. You do what you want to. It may be called your arrogance, or hypocrisy or politics. Who cares. Guru says it right "Naa mujhe sunai nahi deta."

So what Shilpa did there, is no different. She played the game and she played it well. Only thing is that emotional junta faltoo me apni taang ada di. And the issue (actually there would not have been an issue at all) got blown out of proportion.

So was there any mistake in the whole controversy?
Yes, there were lots of mistakes committed.
Let me list out the charges against all the parties:

1. Jade Goody and gang: Overly display of hate for Shilpa. If they hated her, they should have played the game properly and got her eliminated in the early stages only. There was no need for repeatedly abusing Shilpa. Some of the words they used were, indeed, provoking.

2. Channel 4 and producer for the show: If they are really committed for the anti-racism cause, they should not have shown those clippings on the show. When you edit so much, why could you not remove the controversial clips.

3. Shilpa: It was all part of game. Didn't she know that she might face such situation. It is well known that western people still can not take us third world people as their equals. And at many a times we have given befitting replies to shut them up. Never forget Bangalored.
She played the game by crying in front of camera. She must have seen some episodes of Big Boss, specially the one with Roopali's rona-dhona.
If you see, she did play the game well. She was able to eliminate Jade after the big controversy. Emotions ruled the voting trends. Her victory was termed no less than India's triumph in first test match in SA in recently concluded series. She became a queen overnight.

4. Media: Media surely blew this controversy out of proportion. All the channels applied all their resources to find out more about the issue. Everything from Jade's history to Big Boss's sponsor were news items in the days of controversy. Print Media as well Internet played their role in the same. The issue could have been solved very easily if the media had not portrayed it to such a heinous crime.

5. Indian and British government: Politics killed the sense. Upcoming polls made it compulsory for British politicians to come out and clarify their stands on the issue, though hardly there is any doubt that they could tell anything else. Indian government also over-reacted to issue. Now it seems that on the international stage we are very confused about the stand we should take on any issue.

I think it was a just a game and played well. Only that viewers got involved to an extent which is far out of their expected reach. As cliched the saying is "Love, War and Game me everything is allowed," but this is the bitter truth.

LOL huh?

Parkinson's Law of Social Work: Social problems increase to occupy the total number of social workers available to deal with them.

her shoes

Goli's recipe -

Lot of times, last year I kept wondering and fretting how could he/she do this to me and so on. But I realized that it is worthwhile putting myself in his/her shoes and analyzing . I think that everyone is resonable and good in their own way.

Thanks a lot dude for this. It works. It works brilliantly.

silence

that I am silent does not mean anything.

The things you own end up owning you

Tyler Durden said "The things you own end up owning you."
How true!!
Fight Club has this rare distinction of creating one whole philosophy of its own. Matrix triology also comes in the same league. They are not just movies that you watch and forget. You can do justice to them only by trying to understand the darshan beneath.

Yesterday in the play, I had switched my phone to silent mode. After the play first thing I did was to check if I had any call. Whenever I am alone or waiting for someone I stare at my cell phone or play with it, as if someone will call me if I do that. I have become slave to my cellphone.

Orkut/Mail is another such thing. We keep checking our mails to see if anyone has mailed. Whenever free, I log-in to orkut and check my scrapbook. F5 key is pressed every 5 seconds as if someone will scrap me if I regularly do that. I keep opening my messengers if I am free. What I am looking for there, is not very clear. Just that I have formed this bad habit of looking at them again and again.

I want to free of everything. I want to be a free soul again. I don't want my support system to be my lifeline. I want to rule my life and not the other way around.

Show me the way...

To win all, you need to risk all

Saw this nice line as status message in IM of one of my friend Goli - "If you want something you never had, do something you have never done."

True indeed. Nothing in this world comes to you just like that. There is no such thing as a free lunch. Dreams and then efforts to achieve those dreams are the prime factor which define your destiny.

"You dream, you seek for them;
You don't dream, they don't exist."

Our limits are defined by none other than us. Our inhibitions are the biggest roadblock in the path to success. Free yourself of all these and the world is yours. Success and Failure are all part of this game. Don't be afraid of any outcome. Its your efforts that matters.

Chandu clearly put it in his status message for IM - "To win all, you need to risk all."

Cause and Effect

Sometimes the line between CAUSE and EFFECT is so blur that it is almost impossible to seperate them. Who comes first or who initiates the other - these are like chicken egg problem.
Logic is something which does not apply here. Reality can be unexplainable. Sometimes let it be like that. Everything and anything does not always need to be solved.

Guru

Guru is not a historical epic; it can't be called a classic also. But take my words - it's not a run of the mile movie either. Mani Ratnam has indeed made a very good cinema. A movie which does not belong to any genre. It is typical Mani Ratnam. And with his talented crew, you are guarnteed for an exceptional movie going experience.

Gurukant Desai is born only once in blue moon. He is confident and hardworking. He does not fear from taking challanges and is a real businessminded person (marrying for dowry, however controversial it is, is not out of this world thing). Money is God, and he is the follower. He is arrogant and believes in that anything and everything is possible. "naa mujhe sunai nahi deta," clearly speaks volume about his character. He is like sarkar who just want to do things his own way. He wants to accomplish something, and for that he can do anything. "Sona aur Chandi ke chappal" is clearly a very realistic way to handle things.

Movie is all about Guru and his life. Abhishek has done brilliant job. There is one good thing about him, he lives his character and not the other way. He put on weight to look perfect for a businessman. The way he laughs is no less greater than Gabbar, his arrogance and self-satisfaction really visible in the look. No other actor could have done more justice to this role. Bravo Abhishek.

Aish and others have done their bit too. Aish has looked thin and beautiful. Her charm and grace fits the role of wife of business tycoon. Her chemistry with Abhishek is simply brilliant. Mithun Da has done a good come back. You dont see any visible change in his style. Will there be more roles like this for him, is a very difficult question. Madhvan lives his role without getting overshadowed in grandeur of Abhishek. One scene that comes to my mind is where he is asked to express his opinions about Guru. He says with confidence - "ye ek bimari hai and ise jail me band kar ke chabhi phek dena chahiye." He is simply brialliant in his little role. Mani Ratnam clearly knows how to get best out of his stars.

Movie lacks in two things.
Music though brilliant is not required at all. Most of the songs have no relation with storyline and they slow down the pace of the narrative. Background score is brillint but somehow reminds of Yuva. Rahman could have avoided copying himself.

And pace of the movie; the movie is very fast in first half. Audience does not get even a minute to blink (leave aside the songs), but in second half, it just slows down. The narrative starts crawling towards the end of the movie. Last scene in courtroom could have done a better way, with giving due respect to System. It was Guru who does not like to follow rules and systems, but director should have shown more respect. The courtroom scene appears a mockery over our judiciary.

Is the end correct or wrong?
This is on personal choice. I think Mani did not have many choices. RDB does not happen regularly. In the end hero has to win, and here hero is GURU. Whatever he does, whichever way he does, but he has done something good. So he has to win.

Good Work Mani Ratnam, though you could have done it much better.

lend me your light

...your lights are all lit - then where do you go with your lamp?
My house is all dark and lonesome, - lend me your light.

-Rabindranath Tagore in Gitanjali

kabul express

How could I have done this? I still can not buy myself a valid reason as to why I didn't listen to Kabul Express soundtracks. How did I miss this classy music? I guess my dislike for Hindi film music is turning into an obsession. And the strangest fact remains that even though I liked the background score for this movie a lot, I still did not try to find out more about it. Poor me, or rather foolish me!!!

If I desperately try to find a scape goat, the first and most valid would be my disappointment with the movie. Somehow the theme of the movie made me expect a very fast paced and well structured storyline. But in reality this movie is just an ordinary attempt with loose storyline and badly handled theme. I shall discuss more about the movie itself in some other post.
Today it is time for the music.

So starting from my favorite part - the background score. Clearly the background music scores 100 percent. An absolute classy work, perfectly fit for the soul of the movie. Fluet with a suitable low bit drum (like tabla or matka) can make any piece of music very enchating. Afgan terrain could only complimented by such earthy music. Music director Raghav Sachar and background music director Julius Packiam have done full justice to the movie. Its amazing to see this much importance being given to the theme music for movies these days.

The storyline does not need any song (or dance sequence) and the director has done a great job respecting this fact. The soundtrack is just there to explore the mood of the movie. Raghav Sachar is surely successful in creating the proper effect for the same. Each and every song is simple and beautiful. Lyrics have been given their due, and they visibly echo the spirit of movie. Shubha Mudgal, Sunidhi Chouhan, KK and Raghav himself have sung songs that will rule any chart for a long time; altleast my heart for sure. Theme for the movie, and few remixes are simply addon for the album.

A worth buy on any day.
And guess what!! you can buy it from Yashraj's official site, that too selectively. Great work guys.

joker or showman

I want to watch Mera Naam Joker. Once again.

Few days back, I read one article about Bollywood and Hindi Cinema. It talked about importanceand effects of theme and idea in firangi films. These are the factors which are missing in Hindi Cinema. Here director are servent to audience and lack creativity and courage. Basically it tried to prove the point that Hindi Cinema audience is still not prepared for a movie based on idea or theme. We still need 10 songs and minimum one love story (plus one dance number in today's case) to make a film successful. Drama and emotions still rule the public's heart. We still are not budhdhijivi. Our new generations might not know who our president is, but they surely know who is Aish's latest boyfriend. It's our bad luck, but we have to accept the hard truth. We still are not prepared for serious stuff. We still live in dream world and can't face the reality.

So director, and actually in a correct sense - the producer, would not want to go against the mass and do something exceptional. They serve like a slave to the mass. Businesses are always run on proven formulas. It takes a generation to give birth to visionary like JRD Tata. So here are most of the directors, catering specifically to the aundienc's taste. Cinema as a medium holds very less significance. People who wanted to do things their own way and wanted to explore new territorries, were termed as Art Film makers. They were always looked down as some failure rather than brave soldiers in the crowd of slaves.

One guy (or actually one of the very few) who could escape this classification was Raj Kapoor. Brilliantly termed as Showman of the Millenium (Subhash Ghai was not honored with this honor, he actually is self-proclaimed showman), Raj Kapoor tried to show vivid aspect of life through his cinema. He gave cinema its true meaning.

Today's generation knows him for his overly exposed heroins. There is no doubt that sex and nudity were an inevitable part of his cinema. Some claimed this as his weakness, while others said it was his courage. Only he could think of showing and portraying what he did. Most of the times it was appropriate for the screenplay, so somehow he could escape being termed as a porn filmmaker.

But there is one more thing, which makes him stand out among this crowd of show-them-what-they-want type of directors (and producers). He tried to touch each and every aspect of life, and didn't fear in showing the bitter truths. He experimented with cinema as medium. Jagate Raho, with story based on events in just one night is one brilliant attempt. The housing society shown in this movie is exactly what we see today.

Mera Naam Joker was another of his brilliant attempt. A 3 hour 40 mins epic story of a joker's life, protrayed with all the emotions and drama. Even the canvas was grand with Gemini Circus being used for the movie. Sadly this movie could not cater to audience. There was no Budhdhijivi Junta that time, that could understand the movie. Junta, then, could not digest the story of a student in love with his teacher. A joker, who pretends not to cry and continues to perform in the circus, was not someone could appreciate that time.
"The show must go on" does not apply even in today's world, that was a wrong time altogether. But Raj Kapoor lived that dream. He spent his whole life in proving the same. May be some day, mass would actually agree that even a joker can have a love story.

Surely, today times are changing, very slowly though. But there is some hope, a hope that we will see more such work. Hope par to duniya jiti hai.

Raj Kapoor aaj bhi yahi geet gungunate honge.
"Yeh Mera Geet Jeevan Sangeet
Kal Bhi Koi Dohrayega
Jag Ko Hasane Bahrupiya
Roop Badal Phir Aayega"

I will try and watch some of his movies again and try to write about them. I will surely write about him some more time.

date doctor anyone?

Is Indian society ready for a "date doctor" yet?
for more info about a 'date doctor', watch Hitch

jahan na pahoonche ravi

Statuary Warning: Any resemblance with anyone living or dead is unintentional. Ravi mentioned in the title does not have any relation with my roommate Ravi Shekhar. If you want to know more about him, you can go and visit his blog ravi says.

In class 9th, for my Higher Hindi subject I had written one line in my essay on Sahitya aur Samaaj (Literature and Society). The line goes like this "Jahan naa pahoonche ravi, Vahan pahoonche kavi." For my friends like Carol let me translate it in english. "Where not even the sun-rays can reach, a poet can chart those territories." Really interesting naa...I wish my mom had made me read those poem books in those early years, then I could have proved the validity of this claim. But alas, Champak and Chacha Chaudhary took all my time.

though when I think today, this line does look to have some significance. Just need to reframe it a bit. "Jahan na pahoonche ravi, vahan pahoonche ndtv/star-news/aaj-tak ke cameraman." They can show you life from any angle, from any part of world and ofcourse at any time. Surely you would ask me to prove my it. Jab dekho tab koi naa koi term coin karna aaj ka fashion ho gaya hai. bhagwan ne muh diya hai isliye bol diye.

So let me try to put forward my theory and the evidence in its support.

Experiment No 31

Aim: To prove that "Jahan na pahoonche ravi, vahan pahoonche ndtv/star-news/aaj-tak ke cameraman."

Required components:

• One cable TV with 100 channels (don't worry I will use only two-three channels here, TV with less number of channels are found only in museums, so I dont want you to take any trouble finding it)
• Remote for the TV, with extra pair of batteries if possible.
  
• A keen eye on the things (keep aside your kids, and lock your betterhalf in the bedroom)
  
• Freeze (frostfree model preferable)
  

Preparations: Just relax and keep your mind safe in the frostfree freeze. Make sure you do it without fail. Watching news channel and using your brain at the same time can be really injurious to health (your as well your TV's). Also please make sure all the throwable things are safely locked somewhere away.

Procedure:

1. Think about any place where you don't expect cameraman to be present. It can be anything - a temple, bar, new year party in your neighborhood or even your own bathroom.
2. List down all these places.
3. Now switch on the TV, make sure settings are such that all these news channels to be monitored are stored close to each other. You don't want to press too many keys to keep shuffling between them. [adv time] TataSky has come with a facility where four news channel can be watched at one time. This is really cool feature for this experiement.
   
4. Now start watching any news channel with great eye on the places. Don't let your mind distract with the strategically placed ads. You should not miss even a single second of show.
5. Check with your list if you seen some of the places mentioned.
6. Keep repeating steps 4 and 5 till the list is exhausted.
   

Observations:

1. One cameraman is always posted in front of Sidhivinayak temple in Mumbai. Whenever any celebrity visits the temple, the news flashes on the TV screens within seconds.
2. One cameraman is recruited just to follow Aishvarya Rai. Where she goes, their network follows her. Incidently she is visiting a lot of temples/dargaahs these days. The cameraman there can do a joint report thus.
   
3. When they are showing any Ganesh Utsav celebrations, try and concentrate. There are very high chances that you will find your kids playing close the stage. Arre its surely your mohalle's pooja stage. See you never knew your mohalla was so famous.
   
4. If Jessical Lal case had happened in todays times, the case would not have taken 5 years to solve. There would have been cameraman inside that pub, trying to take pictures of Rakhi and Mika, and most probably they would have shoot the video of her getting murdered.
5. Did you miss any episode of Big Boss or Nach Baliye. Dont worry. There is a solution. No I am not talking about highly geeky windows xp media center pc. I am talking about news channels. Get all the news about your favorite game shows on them, every evening without fail. Its not far when we can have live commentries on TV and radio for the same.
   
6. Remember Atul Bedade (arre vahi sixer expert from mumbai team, I know you wont remember), these people actually found him and over night he became a cricket expert, giving gyan to Ganguly and commenting about Sachin's style. He and many more such talents (Nikhil Chopra, Saba Karim etc) could only be traced only coz of these TV channel news reporters. So if anyone is missing from your locality, you can give this trick a shot. Portray him as some cricket expert and then this cameraman/channelwalas will find him/her for you. See so simple.
   
7. Anyone wants to know what is Ramdev Baba upto these days. Check aajtak and you will get update about his daily routine. Each and every statement of his makes flashing news on the prime time.
   

These and many more. The list goes on. Sometimes to things which I can not even mention at this family entertainment place. I hope I have enough evidence to prove my statement. If not, give me a day or two. May be they will broadcast a story from my wc.

Result: Hence Proved. [We always did it in college to end the experiment. Though by this time we would have surely forgotten what we were trying to prove]

fame circus

Fame Gurukul, Fame X, Super Singer, Big Boss, SaReGaMaPa, Jhalak Dikhlaja, Nach Baliye - the list goes on.

What is common amongst all these?
The brazenly obvious answer would be hunger for fame and money. In this country of 100 karor, to make a name for yourself is as difficult as India's chances of winning a gold medal in Azlan Shah Tournament. So why not take the shorte route to fame through these TV channels.

show me the money baby!!
The prize is getting bigger and better. Each game show boasts of a very big prize money, which can seduce any saint out of his ascetic life. Sing and earn money (by no means I meant begging), Dance and earn money (again, I am not talking about tamasha), live with strangers in a home with camera everywhere and you can take home loads of wealth. Paise ki liye saala kuch bhi karega. Paisa fek aur tamasha dekh. There was even a hunt for Item girl for some movie. Somebody please go and tell them that one Rakhi Sawant is enough for this birth.

Siyaram's gift hamper, Jaipaan cooking accessories and Air India return tickets are things from past. Swanky cars (though there are chances that winner might not be eligible for a driving licence), flats in posh localities, Cruise trips, and yes sometimes Date with Arjun Rampal (I see you man) are the in things. Times are changing and you never know what is there in offer at any game show. You just can not resist. And there is always loads of hard cash. apna sapna money money [if anyone has seen that movie, let me know about it]. Jerry Maguire would surely die for some of these shows.

Naam me kya rakha hai
Apparently there is lot of name and fame also involved. Though these claims are as controversial as Mika's liplock with Rakhi. How many names can you recall? Not many huh.. I can recall only one name - Abhijeet Sawant (want to know why? I watched a very sad video of his yesterday on cable tv, red hairs... yukkk). I think we will need Google to find out about Kazi (please dont ask "Kazi who?") Rest all, they are just like the product of one night stand with fame. Public has really short memory, and they need ever performing heroes. Clearly these game shows can not serve the purpose. Jab tak game show hai, tab tak naam hai. Uske baad all are back to apne mohalle ke gurgo ke saath. Haan ek fayada jaroor hai, the winner will get his shaadi done soon, and also he cna easily perform in gaon ke mele.

Talent my foot...
Are the really a talent hunt? If you think so, you must be still high on the daroo you drank on saturday night. Today every Tom, Dick and Harry is singing on TV, every Champa, Chameli and Basanti is dancing on tunes of some raunchy dance numbers. Small time actors from idiot box are made celebrities for the TRPs. Arre even Baba Sehgal is termed as super star. Dont forget the Chunky Pandeys and Rahul Roys (please ignore the spellings, I dont keep a track of their latest way of spelling their names) After seeing some contestants from Fame X, I felt like taking a recorder and start singing. Tunes I hum in bathroom are much better than what they were singing on the stage. Please dont ask about their dancing talent. Hamare mohalle ka paan vala lala can matkaofy his kamar much better than half the contestants. After seeing Carol and Ragini, I know you dont need to be proficient in any language, communication skill or personality trait. Manners kis chidiya ka naam hai? Jindagi jhandwa, phir bhi ghamandwa.

Then whatitiz??
Angrez hamesha kahte rahe, devide and rule. Our politicians found more peaceful solution. Play with the emotion of mass and enjoy the power. So now here we are, sharing their pain and joy with the whole nation. Each game show today will surely have participants craving to share their sad stories. They come from Assam, Bangal and Bihar ke chote gaons. Unke gaon me bijali nahi hoti hai. These all public needs to know. Kashmir ke ek garib kalakaar ke ghar me kya hua, this is materia for flash news on Aaj Tak. Rupaali keeps crying in front of cameras coz she knows each drop of tear equals an extra thousand votes for her opponents (sometimes the calculations are done the other way, voting is done for elimination.) Some kid's parents make a big show on the sets of a singing competition and whole nations sympathises with them. Community centers are flooded with requests to vote for some x member who is participating in some talent hunt.

Ek dookhti nerve hoti hai insaan ke sharir me - emotions. He wants to see his hero doing things which he himself could not do. He want to see a smile on poor guys face, he wants to see the unthinkable to happen, he wants all his dreams to come true. He sees his own daughter in the girl winning in the dance competitions, coz his own girl could never dance even on her brother's marriage. Raato raat Abhijeet Sawant poore desh ka beta ho jaata hai. Amit Sana ke gale ke liye saare desh me ilaaj dhoondhe jaate hain. Hamare ghar me bahut betiyan hai phir bhi we keep looking outside coz their success make us forget the failure of our owns. And this drema world can be created only on TV through these shows. tears and joys - show anything and TRPs are your girlfriend. They dont understand that the producers for these programs are making them fool. We never care as long as hamari gali ka ladka jeet raha hai. Jis din vo haar jata hai, we smell something foul, curse everyone for somedays, and then some other neighbour's cousin's daughter's friend's girl makes her first appearance on anther show. The six degree relation theory can be easily proved here. The cycle continues thus.

show me the hidden treasure...
There is one subtle and cleverly hidden motiff attached to these talent and reality shows. The unlimited money game of sms. Each one of these events prompts viewers to vote through sms and save their favorite participant from elimination. And amazingly, thousands of people do sms also. And they do it week after week, month after month, season after season. The minimum cost for each such sms is 3Rs. Clearly there is a lot of money involved here. And always, some part of it goes to the channelwalas. In the end, they are the people who are raking mullahs. Aam janata apni khoon pasine ki kamai ko asie hi emotions ke chakkar me aakar sms par waste kar deti hai. God please give them some brain.
Wake up people. Please dont waste your money in smsing for vote (against Rakhi Sawant. She is too good yaar, I want her to win)

hitch

Memorable Quotes from Hitch.

Hitch: Always remember, life is not how many breaths you take, it's how many moments take your breath away.

Sara: What should we toast to?
Hitch: Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

[in the start]
Hitch: Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it, and that's where I come in. My job is to open her eyes. Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

Hitch: One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get, Albert. Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once.

[in the end]
Hitch: Basic principles... there are none.

Hitch: Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose.

been there... not done that though

I was almost there. I could see the victory march. Alas, I was on the other side of road. Being a spectator is not so easy, especially after the long and tiring journey. But this is the way it was meant to be. Destiny is not any one's better half.

What prompted me to take this road?
If I do even a bit of retrospection, I can see only one compelling factor. It was just a desperation. Yes, it might be shocking to many of you, but this is the truth. I chose this road, coz I know it was tough. And coz I know the hard work here would keep me involved enough. I was running away from something and this journey geared me up for that escape. This is not the route a fighter will take, but I am not a fighter either. I chose the route which I wanted to.

Did I not do justice to the purpose?
I strongly reject this allegations. I did my best. I did much more than what I could have done in the given circumstances. I lived my day, and slept my nights with this dream. Somewhere on the way, I realised that it was becoming much more than a dream. And this is where the fear popped up. A child can do anything with equal enthusiasm and zeal. It does not bother about result. Success and failure word are not into their dictionary. They enjoy the journey more than the destination. But somehow we grownups forget the fun of journey. For us the ultimate result becomes much more important. I recall the phase when I got so worried about the result that I just forgot the fun of my struggle in the journey. Somewhere I read "its only the result that matters" and I curse myself for trying to follow it. Its not the result but the hard work and experiences from journey that matters. Result is just by-product.

What now?
In one dark corner of my heart, I still cry about the failure. But I know that this is not the end. I will chose some new paths again, and this time try to enjoy the journey. Lets see what comes in the end. Life is full of surpirse, you never know what is waiting for you at the next corner of road.
Keep Walking...

Enigma is fueling my life this days. I wonder how can I miss this enchanting music all these while.

ooof life...

Switch on dictionary mode of your cell phone.
Try typing REJECT.
See what you will get.
SELECT
Strange naa..
This is called life.

Ma Rewa tharo pani nirmal...

Taking from one of my previous post ma reva at the same place.

"ma rewa taro paani nirmal....
ma rewa tharo paani nirmal
khal khal behto jaaye

amarkanth se nikli O rewa
jann jann kari rayo thaari sewa
sewa se sab pawe mewa,
aso ved puran batayo re..."

Every time I go home, these lines appear more and more true to me. I spent early years of my childhood in Barwani. This place is known for two things - Adiwasis from Jhabua, and Narmada Bachao Andolan. NBA in those old days, prior to entry of celebrities like Arundhati Roy, was based in Barwani. Baba Amte and Medha Patkar had this place as their Karmbhumi. These was one of the worst affected area because of construction of Sardar Sarovar Dam in Gujrat. Still Barwani continued to progress. A city can not survive by keeping itself inert. This all was my first encounter with the phenomenon called Narmada.

Later we moved to West Nimar and I spent most of my later part of childhood there. Last year my dad got transferred to Maheshwar, and here I was again, in lap of Narmada river. Maheshwar, famous for its Maheshwari Sari, is a temple town on the banks of Narmada River close to the world famour piligrimage place Omkareshwar. Holkar Rulers specially Rajmata Ahilya Devi, gave grace to this place. She made regular visit to this place. There is a fort built on the banks. She used to come on all the important occassions and do pooja of maa narmada. Umpteen Temples were built and Ghats were made on the banks. The Fort provides a royal look to the ghats here.

With the arrival of Firang tourists, this place caught the eyes of Tourism Department. MP Tourism started promoting this place in its programs. It built a very beautiful resort just on the banks; it's called Naramada Retreat. This time I got a chance to visit this place. Rooms made and decorated like royal palaces, with a beautiful view of Narmada river and ok types food. Overall, really beautiful and peaceful place. I would surely stay there sometime (alas as long as my parents live in Maheshwar I cant think of it).

Ahilya Ghat is the most important ghat here. It has many temples, most important of them being the Narmada Temple and Ahilya Mata ki chatari. The Fort has Rajarajeshwara temple which has great historical and religious significance. Fort also has a private heritage hotel which is run and maintained by the Holkars (Prince Richard lives in Delhi and regularly comes here to maintain this place).

For people in Maheshwar, morning starts with a bath in Narmada river. There are many who regulary server milk to the river. I exactly dont know the significance of it, but it is supposed to be a very important religious custom. There are kids, young souls and olders all taking bath, enjoying the clean water of Narmada and doing pooja. Many do yoga and pranayam. Some firang also try to mimic them. Many others like me just come there and enjoy the sun rise. A red ball, rising in the distant sky, with temples and narmada river in background. It is fascinating.

I went there again and again. Each morning and evening. I wanted to just live their for sometime. With the silence, talking to myself. Nirvana indeed.

koi dekh raha hai...

Recently I happen to visit this very interesting blog by Abhi. It's called my dayz with myself. Really interesting place for some good and light reading. One of the recent posts there dealt with a topic I wanted to write about for last few days. Have a look -

"But on a more Sushma Swaraj-ish note , Marine Drive shocked me in the same way a rusty old room cooler did when I tried to fil it up with water when I was eight . I mean , I am no Pandit Gangadhar Panduraam Shastri whose delicate sensibilities will be offended by an exposed ankle . But the way young couples choose to do 'things' not exactly in alignment with All India Mummy Papa Association over there was a little 'not-so-relaxing' for me to watch .Arre bhai , video dekhna hain to ghar mein dekho na , multiplex mein public screening kyun kar rahe ho ?"

So by now you will have full idea about the topic. Yes, I wanted to write something about public display of affection. This guy dealt with the topic in a very light and subtle funny way. But after my recent visit to Mumbai I really wanted to discuss it here.

On my way back from Indore, I had to take a break in Mumbai for around 4 hours. There Rout had come to meet me at the airport. As there was so much time, we decided to see some of Mumbai. We headed straight to Bandra Band Stand. Rout had not been there, and for me whole of Mumbai is a uncharted territory. (Why Rout wanted to visit Bandra Band Stand - To see Mannat, one reason for sure. Since he reached Mumbai, Rout has been trying to chase Bollywood actors).

Anyways, so here we were at Bandra Band Stand.
My first opinion about this place - a very dirty sea side with a very good jogging track. What is interesting (?) is to see so many young lovebirds. All hand in hand, eyes in eyes (and I don’t want t mention other things), not really bothered about anything/anyone else in this world. They really didn’t care about anyone else around them.

For public there, they were the center of attraction. More interesting then a cinema, coz you can see things that they don’t show in a non-adult film. There was something fascinating about such public display of affection there. It made me think of some questions.

Why do they need to show their affection in public and that to a place like a garden or beach?
Mumbai and for that matter any city in India, has no place for lovebirds. We still do not see these young souls with the same eyes as the kids in our homes. A young couple is always thought of doing something immoral. Our social stigmas and dogmas never allow us to accept a young guy and young girl's relation as something pure. They are always suppressed. So these people need to share their love with each other at secluded places like gardens and beaches far away from their homes. Most of them could not afford the safe and less disturbing ambience of Coffee Days or Baristas. But their love indeed needs to be explored. So they chose the less expensive options like these.

How do they get the courage to be so bold?
When I happen to see few such couples at Bandra Band stand, the first question that popped in my mind was - from where do they get the courage to do it so freely in public. There are couples smooching each others, and doing all the other possible exploration of each other. These all in a public places with so many people around. We still a part of society where this kind of actions would only be termed as crime. But still, there were so many of them, committing this crime. There was people watching them and laughing (why laughing? I could not understand). There were few rag pickers who just went close to them and stood right next to the couple. But still the lovebirds dint mind and did not even bother to do something else. They continued. What gives them the strength?

Strangeness. Yes it’s the strangeness of the public, of the surroundings, that gives them the courage. They can do anything amongst these strangers and still not bother about their parents knowing about it. Their parents would never know about it, and they still are a good boy/girl at their home. The guilt of doing something wrong would never pop up thus. With the influence of western culture, the physical attraction has become an almost indispensable part of a relation. So they take up the challenge of facing the world bravely and enjoy themselves. In one sense, it looks very valid. They know what they are doing and they own the whole responsibilities of the outcome. But on other hand, it does shocks the society, and people. Somewhere there always is the fight.

I don’t say its right or wrong. But my hats off for those brave souls.

Keep Walking

Forrest Gump is one classic movie. This is one Quote by Forrest -"That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going."

I think I am living a Forrest Gump these days. Aim a distant star (for no particular reason), strive hard to touch it, reach closer, touch it and then everything is over.
Dreaming is very tiring and difficult; more difficult is living that dream. Only thing that's giving excitement is chasing that dream.

I decided one thing, I tried for it. I did it. And now its over. The climax is really short-lived.
I decided other thing, worked hard for it, acheived it and again its the same.
Its the steps towards the winner's podium that is more pleasurable than the podium itself. Sometimes it makes me feel that I am just running. Running from reality, trying to live bit by bit, ignoring the hard truthful face of it. At others I think I am living it to the full.

Whatever... It is too confusing, and too tiring.

But I have to keep walking, keep running. I can not stop. Coz I know the day I stop, it will be the end of me.

am i alone??

“Hey, we are in Coorg. By mistake your bike key is with us,” said Arpit (or was it Ravi) over phone. I could not believe my ears; I came out of the shop to hear it once more. It was around 8 pm on 30^th Dec. I was to reach Bangalore the next day around 6pm. And really was looking forward at some Celebration at home. These words came as a shock to me. But my ears had not done any mistake, what I heard was true. Ravi (or was it Arpit) reiterated it for me.

I was kind of dumb stuck. What will I do in Bangalore, all alone; that too on a New Year eve? It was too difficult to think about anything. My home will be empty. Most of the friends were out of town. And it was too late for me to make any plan. Desperation loomed my face and I told Ravi (or was it Arpit), “let me see, I shall try to join you guys in Coorg once I am in Bangalore.” I thought I would take the first available bus and reach Coorg. I cut the call and then went back with Gunjan. We were shopping for his marriage functions. It was something I have never been part of in last few years, so I tried to bemuse myself with the shopping and festive mood.

In mean time I called one of my friends over there in Bangalore to ask about their plans. Somehow I tried to fit myself in any program. Got a positive reply and I felt bit relaxed.

In night and in morning in my flight to Mumbai, I thought about everything again. Why did I behave in so much a desperate way? I indeed found the reason. I am afraid of being alone. It was not about a screwed up New Year celebration plan, but was about my insecurities. Four years in hostel and then almost two out of it, my life has changed a lot. I have always been surrounded by friends. I spent each and every moment with these people. Emotionally my family was farther than the physical distance. Friends have become indispensable part of my life. Today I am afraid of leaving Bangalore, coz then I will have to leave all these people behind. I still remember my last day in college, how I cried in my heart about it. And here I was almost in a similar situation. All alone.

I discussed it with Rout in Mumbai. He is living all alone in Mumbai, and he is enjoying. So I thought why I can’t do that same. So on my flight back to Bangalore; I decided to spend the evening with myself.

I reached Bangalore, called some friends and then settled myself in my home. Ate a nice dinner, talked with my cook for sometime. Then put on my favorite music (I have been listing to Engima a lot off late), took my book and started reading. I don’t remember when I dozed off. Happy New Year in sleep (gosh, I will sleep throughout the year now)
Morning I woke up fully recharged.

Now I know I can at least spent sometime by myself. The big test is yet to be taken.

ps: This is post number 200 here at in search of UTOPIA. Congrats to myself. I could keep the enthu going for so long.

was he a bot too??

They hanged him to death. People cried out loud, his opponents cheered with happiness. The Hangman wore a mask while he did not. He faced the death watching straight into its eyes. He hissed one last time before the lever moved and broke the neck. No desperation on his face, no regret either. He lived like a king, and surely deserved a better end. But nobody can beat the destiny.

Few years back he used to see his opponents killed like this, then he must have seen his statues given the same honor, and would have surely dreamt about his own fate.

What gave him the courage to behave the way he did it that fateful moment? Who gives the courage to a soldier in battle field to face his death with bravery? Isn't it foolishness? The say foolishness and Bravery have a very thin boundary in between.

A martyr he became. Whatever he did, but he died a glorious death.
Did he deserve it, or did he not - it’s a chicken-egg type of question.

On one last thought what chance is that the guy shown hanged was not a bot, a look alike.
May be not, life is not a Hollywood fantasy.

Thought of the day

Feb 16th, 2007
No matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

Jan 25th, 2007
Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

~ The Architect in "The Matrix Reloaded"

Jan 24th, 2007
Always inculcate hope. It is the only saving grace of failure.

~Prahlad Kakkar

Jan 23rd, 2007
We’re the middle children of history, man — no purpose or place. We have no great war. No great depression. Our great war’s a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives.

~ Tyler Durden, Fight Club