been there... not done that though

I was almost there. I could see the victory march. Alas, I was on the other side of road. Being a spectator is not so easy, especially after the long and tiring journey. But this is the way it was meant to be. Destiny is not any one's better half.

What prompted me to take this road?
If I do even a bit of retrospection, I can see only one compelling factor. It was just a desperation. Yes, it might be shocking to many of you, but this is the truth. I chose this road, coz I know it was tough. And coz I know the hard work here would keep me involved enough. I was running away from something and this journey geared me up for that escape. This is not the route a fighter will take, but I am not a fighter either. I chose the route which I wanted to.

Did I not do justice to the purpose?
I strongly reject this allegations. I did my best. I did much more than what I could have done in the given circumstances. I lived my day, and slept my nights with this dream. Somewhere on the way, I realised that it was becoming much more than a dream. And this is where the fear popped up. A child can do anything with equal enthusiasm and zeal. It does not bother about result. Success and failure word are not into their dictionary. They enjoy the journey more than the destination. But somehow we grownups forget the fun of journey. For us the ultimate result becomes much more important. I recall the phase when I got so worried about the result that I just forgot the fun of my struggle in the journey. Somewhere I read "its only the result that matters" and I curse myself for trying to follow it. Its not the result but the hard work and experiences from journey that matters. Result is just by-product.

What now?
In one dark corner of my heart, I still cry about the failure. But I know that this is not the end. I will chose some new paths again, and this time try to enjoy the journey. Lets see what comes in the end. Life is full of surpirse, you never know what is waiting for you at the next corner of road.
Keep Walking...

Enigma is fueling my life this days. I wonder how can I miss this enchanting music all these while.