mera naam joker - 1

Remember me?

This is me – the joker; the ever smiling character from your favorite circus in childhood.
You have seen me laughing and crying in that small world of circus. Do you remember those moments? There were lions, elephants, bears, parrots, donkeys; all dancing to the tunes of their master – the ringmaster. There were skinny girls wearing skimpy clothes and doing back-breaking gymnastics with smile on their faces, there were tough guys doing dangerous fire stunts without any visible worry on their face. And then there was me. I would come every now and then, as a feeler between the performances. I would do silly things and everyone would laugh at me. My friends would hit me with a stick (it was a slapstick though; it dint hurt much) and still I would laugh and so would you. Then I would leave the center stage for others to perform and get lost in the darkness behind the curtains. You would go home with smiles on your face

I hope you remember, coz this is the only damn thing I did in my whole life. Those smiles on thousands of faces are the only thing I earned.

Let me tell you more about myself.

When I was born, I was like any normal kid. I loved to play with kids from my neighborhood. I used to play cricket, football and running games with them. We would play and fight. There was no hurt feeling though. At the end of the day, we all would go home happily. As the time was passing, we all were growing. And we were changing. We were surely changing, for I realized that everybody were not the same with me now. They would laugh at me; sometimes they would give disgusted looks. Its then I realized that I was different from them. I was not as tall as they were, I was not as beautiful as they were, and I was not as normal child as they were.

I asked my mom why everyone laughs at me. And they would say that all those kids had gone mad. They were not laughing at me but they were laughing at themselves. But I could read my mom’s eyes. I knew she was lying. There was pain in her eyes, and I knew that those kids were not mad; it was me who was not normal.

As the time passed, I got used to the feeling that everyone was making fun of me. I knew they were laughing at me. I did not feel that bad anymore. And this was the time when I took the toughest decision of my life. I knew others were getting pleasure by laughing at me. They were taking something out of me. I thought why not give them those smiles instead of them taking it from me. It was simple give and take relation. But the perspectives were different. I would get the satisfaction of giving others something. And thus I decided to become a joker. Now I would laugh and make other laugh.

I went to my other and told her about my decision. Again those eyes were wet. She asked me if I was joking. I said yes. Indeed joking was what I wanted to do. She smiled for a moment and then again turned silent.

Continued…