her sacrifice

[This is third post in series "my first attempt to write a story". Please refer to previous two posts for story till now]

She dint look back. For she was sure that tears in her eyes would break all the deceptions. Eyes can never lie; they are too pure to hide something. She wanted to cry today. Nothing could stop the tears today. But she did not want him to see these tears. She knew she could not see in those eyes again, and tears in her eyes would make her feel more guilty. For she had just shattered two hearts few moments back.

These few moments have been tougher than what she had anticipated. All her memories came flashing in front of her eyes. Within moments, she had relived her last three years again and again. She really loved him, and she did not want to deny it.

Neha was a girl from small town, who came to this metro to study. She met Samyak in her college. Samyak was from the same city as hers. On a foreign land, anything from our home feels so warm and comforting. It dint take them long before they were talking to each other the whole days and nights. Both became each others helping hand. They build a support system for each other. Anything and everything they shared with each other. When friendship turned into liking for each other and then finally in love, they could never tell. All they knew was that they were living for each other now.

There was nothing very dramatic in their love story. They would spend most of the college time and then weekend together. Nights were too busy with the all-night calls. It was normal for lovers, they both thought. Nothing wrong anyway.

After college, she got a good job in a MNC while he was not very successful in his job search. Somehow he got a job-offer from a call-center and he grabbed it. She did not like it though, but still she did not tell him that. She knew that would hurt him a lot. Somehow the life was getting settled, she with her work in the jazzy setup of MNC while him in the tiresome setup of call-center. He never complained about his job. Somehow he always seemed happy with his work. She tried hard to convince him to change his job; he did not give any ears to her advice.

She was not able to find anyway to motivate him to get more ambitious. She could not imagine him living as a loser. But his attitude was not doing it good for her. She dreamed of her future with a successful guy, and Samyak was not perfectly fitting that picture. She imagined her life with him in turmoil due to ego clashes. She had seen Abhimaan and did not want to face it in reality.

She thought about it a lot; nothing great came to her mind. She then thought of the greatest gamble of her life. She decided to bet her love. She planned to keep her love on stack so that to win her guy. It was something really unimaginable; normal love stories don’t have any such angle. But love does not have a sure shot formula either. She had to try it for a happy relationship.

“When your love wants to leave you, let him go. If he comes back then he is yours, if he dose not, he was never yours”, she decided to let him go. She loved him a lot, and she hoped that even he loved her a lot. So she decided to put this love on the agni-pariksha. He will never understand my concerns, she told herself. I will have to wake him up from his dreams, she decided. Only way out was to break his dream. Break his heart. Let him feel the pain and learn from it. Let him learn the value of life, learn her value, learn value of their love.

It was, by no means, an easy task. For, she knew she was breaking two hearts. Sometimes things become unavoidable. If not today, this will happen some time in future, she feared. So why not do it today? may be it will be less painful.

That day she collected all her courage, and went to meet him. She wore dark glasses; for she knew her eyes would spoil everything. He came, as usual with his cheerful smile. Poor guy dint know what was coming his way.

What happened after that, she dint want to think about. Some of the most difficult lines she ever told; though she had rehearsed them many times before coming here today. She finished them and turned back. He dint say a word, she thanked God. She just walked away. She dint even see if he was still there or had gone too.

She did not look back. That night she would cry her heart out. may be she might feel the satisfaction of doing what she wanted. Sometimes love also means sacrifice.